people wonder why i don't jump on the columbia bandwagon...natives, transplants, and every other breed in between simply can't figure out why i have denounced the tigers. it's not that i really hate the tigers or columbia (well at least most of the time), it's more a matter of my dismay for the people who live in their sheltered little world of columbia, (yes. columbians. there is a whole big bad world outside of columbia and p.s. the shopping is about five-thousand times better). i mean for fuck sake...it's september 11th, and somehow mizzou football has taken priority over local businesses remembering to (in the very least), fly the gotdamn american flag at half-mast. the only thing people are concerned about is fucking college football. and it's for reasons such as these that i feel justified in saying fuck college football and fuck the tigers.
wave your fist at me. swear at me. beat the shit out of me. kill me. whatever. fine. i don't give a flying fuck...i hadn't even heard of mizzou before i moved to this gotdamn forsaken state over three years ago, and quite honestly, it was only after i started dating my ex that i became educated about columbia. so after having lived here for a little over two years and for anyone to think that i'm somehow going to be persuaded to jump on some insignificant bandwagon is completely delusional. there's a better chance of me swallowing drano ON PURPOSE before i don the black and gold.
p.s. i'd like to think i'm a moderately educated individual so i don't think it is entirely shocking that i was oblivious of columbia or mizzou's existence. in fact, i'm more apt to believe that it's completely ignorant of others to believe that everyone on the face of the planet should care or know about either. i mean for fuck sake...there are people here who have never even heard of nordstrom's. WTF.
we all live in our diluted worlds, looking through our rose-colored glasses. fine. we all have our illusions (no matter how false they may be). believe me...i'm the first to admit that i'm probably the most delusional person i know. (although my delusions may be a result of the vodka). but i'm not so naive or ignorant to have somehow forgotten that i live in columbia thirdly, missouri secondly, and the fucking united states first. have we seriously forgotten our patriotism? i mean...my intention is not to sound as if i've planted myself on a soapbox or be argumentative but everyone wanted to jump on the "i hate george w. bush" bandwagon. fine. we're all entitled to our opinions and like i said, our delulsions. what-the-fuck-ever. but as long as we're criticizing people, then i'm going to just ask, what the fuck has obama done for the united states lately? besides fill our stupid little heads with naive visions of grandeur, meanwhile having not done jack shit and making excuses for why everything has progressed so slowly.
don't get me wrong...i don't envy the man at all. in fact, if anything i feel sorry for obama because i'm sure his desire to be the commander in chief was only a result of the false misconceptions he was fed. i'm not a fucking president. (i have never been president of anything, not even some asinine kid's club). besides i don't care about having that extent of responsibility...i pay my rent late, and my electricity has been turned off more than once. in addition, i like booze too much. so i don't aspire to be president of anything EVER, therefore, i can positiviely say that i would never envy anyone in the big seat. but this is why i've said time and time again that sitting in the house or senate does not qualify ANYONE to run a fucking country. (it's also why while in high school as a particicpant of "youth in government" i chose to be a lobbyist, as sleeping on the house or senate floor gets you the stink eye. i much preferred the privacy of the galleria - no one of importance can see you sleeping). in all honesty, it is really just my stupid opinion that if anyone wants to make the attempt of running a country, that perhaps they should take one step at a time...be a fucking mayor or something. governor. whatever. i don't really care. but don't be so stupid to believe that because you particicpated in the passing of various state bills that somehow that qualifies you to run a FUCKING country. geezuseffingcrist.
i drove by the courthouse earlier where a remembrance ceremony was taking place and i shit you not, there was MAYBE twenty-five people there...twenty-five people in a town with a population of one-hundred thousand people. clearly i wasn't there...not that i was aware of it, and even if i had been, i probably still would not have bothered to walk the three blocks to pay my respects. look. i'm not trying to be a hypocrite. i'm the first one to admit i'm an asshole. but at least i remembered what today is and what the date is. and believe me, i can assure you i wasn't rushing off to faurot field or some tailgate party to drink beer at nine in the morning. i have a little bit more couth than that...i wait until at least eleven MOST days.
but what pisses me off is that this is a town that likes to toot its own horn about how progressive it is (don't even get me started about the bullshit politics and how the widening of broadway - a major thoroughfare - is just not an option), and today of all days people were more concerned about college football, bbqs, beer and doritos. yay tigers. (you should hear the lack of enthusiasm in my voice...it is totally void of any enthusiasm). and don't get me wrong! i love bbqs, beer and doritos (i prefer the cool ranch variety), but don't forget that there are thousands of men and women who are still out there giving us the ability to barf up all the hotdodgs, beer and doritos we decide to shove our faces with.
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