i think kids are assholes, well most of them anyway. i use to think, gawd! some peoples' kids! ANNOYING! but what i understand now is that children are only products of their parents. so if your kid is an asshole...it's your fucking fault.
i don't have children. i like vodka. so i'm not going to sit here and tell anyone how to raise their children or what is right or wrong. what i am going to bitch about is how kids are not only just assholes these days but how they're a bunch of fucking pussies. yes. pussies. and it seriously annoys the fuck out of me.
let's just say i work in an industry that involves children. and i've never seen a generation of bigger ass pussies in my life. since when do children dictate to their parents what they will and won't do? and since when did that become not only acceptable but the norm?
if i was defiant (and i was), my mother sent me outside to sit in the car and she didn't give a shit if it was one hundred degrees outside. punishment is a real bitch. at least i probably stopped acting like an asshole. most of the time anyway. okay. i lie. some of the time. admittedly, i lived in a small town where fear of kidnapping was slim-to-none. moreover, i'm sure my mother thought that if anyone were to actually kidnap me, they'd get half a block before slamming on their brakes while saying nevermind and then proceed to kick me out of their molester van. and don't even get me started on misbehaving in church because her claws in my side were fierce!
my point is, is that i see children all day long basically mandating to their parents what they will and won't do. why do parents coddle their children? or negotiate with them? if my mother or father told me that we were going somewhere and we were going to do this or that or whatever, there were no questions asked. there was no deliberation. we (as in my siblings and i), just did what we were told and there was no bribery involved either. if any of us attempted to put up a fight it would have easily been resolved with a spanking. i applaud my parents. and no. i do not feel as if i was abused.
perhaps if i were actually a parent i would perceive the situation differently. but i'm pretty sure if i had a kid that decided they wanted to argue with me about what they were or were not going to do, i'd take the asshole outside and say, it's going to go like this...you're going to do what i say or i'm going to beat you into oblivion. done. end of argument. no beatings necessary. i don't advocate child abuse but sometimes all a bratty child needs is a good spanking. and don't think i wouldn't even threaten to abandon my child at a local wal-mart just to scare the fear of God into them because we've all seen the scary motherfuckers who shop at wal-mart. lawd only knows that's the last place i'd want to be left if i were five.
oh and since when did it become okay to let your child scream their head off in public? little fuckers. i swear! don't ruin my shopping experience! and don't ruin my dining out experience! your kid screaming in the booth next to me or running around in a restaurant (TOTALLY inappropriate by the way), is killing my fucking buzz. and i'm not even talking about sitting outside somewhere (or inside for that matter) that is family friendly...i'm talking about restaurants in which you really shouldn't be bringing your child in the first place. again. i'm not a parent. i'm not saying you should leave your five year-old at home...what i'm saying is, if they cannot behave in public and sit politely than you need to remove them from my sight or hire a babysitter.
and p.s. when i go to restaurants, i always ask the host(ess) to sit me somewhere AWAY from people with kids.
in addition to kids being little shits what i don't understand is this whole coddling business. are we intentionally trying to make kids big ass wimps? i was in the supermarket today when quite unexpectedly i hear this awful screaming coming from the restroom. i'm like, wtf. it sounds like a pig being slaughtered in there! out comes this kid with his father and apparently the kid is screaming his head off because the hand-dryer came on without his direction and it caught him off guard. okay. hand dryers can be a little scary. NOT FUCKING REALLY. maybe the sound or the surprise of it shook him up but does that really require the pussy to start screaming like a friggin' banshee? good gawd. i thought my eardrums were going to burst. okay. that's a slight exaggeration but it was completely fucking annoying. then i saw the little asshole and realized he was probably five and i thought (out loud), what a fucking pussy and a shithead.
again. i'm not a parent. i've never expressed the desire to be one. maybe my view and opinion would change if i were a parent. i don't know.
yes. i do realize that sometimes i'm the grown-ass adult acting like the shithead at the supermarket or in public. but i'd rather be an asshole than a pussy. who the fuck is scared of a hand-dryer anyway? do you think the kid screams his head off when the television comes blaring on to the sound of barney? probably not. although, i would.
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