fanfuckingtastic. yes. as it turns out...my life can be summed up in a nutshell! the fact of the matter is that i've pretty much been adhd all my life but as i've aged it has become an increasingly apparent issue. this blog by the way...? is a fucking perfect example. i started this a blog exactly one year, one week, and one day ago. that's fucking creepy...because until i just did the math in my head right now (when i looked back at the date of my first bitch post, ((appropriately titled "my first bitch post")), the timing of it all did not occur to me...one year, one week, and one day ago. or maybe i'm fucking stupid and am not your stereotypical asian who's a math genius and will certainly feel like an idiot when i read this later. sober too. just sayin'.
so my point is...i've been fucking adhd ALL MY FUCKING LIFE?! HOLY SHIT!!! that explains everything. and for FUCKSAKE alive! why had this never occured to anyone who is close to me before i turned the age of thirty-two? i mean seriously...i kinda made a joke about it one day and then everyone else starting saying it about me jokingly, and it really made me wonder. hmmm...and guess what? ADHD ALL MY FUCKING LIFE!!! no wonder i'm a piece of shit! i can't fucking finish ANYTHING i start!!! not this blog - in hopes that some fucking day, someone would just come along and offer to turn my blog into a book, and that would lead to at least five other book deals, and then i could just sit on my ass all day (as i've become a frequent author on "the new york review of books"), and not have to give a shit about not finishing anything (while staring at the hot college frat boy cleaning my pool)! i certainly have not finished my college degree - in which i have 99.00 credit hours. yes. and not only 99.00 credit hours have i managed to successfully finish at a snail's pace but i've also been awarded to pay fifty-six thousand dollars in student loans back to the lenders. FUCK ME HARD. mothafucka.
yeah. my "so-called" adhd has also strayed me from accomplishing yet another goal. and don't even get me started on all the home projects i have going on at the moment because my adhd got me distracted in the middle of my first project which resulted in starting a second project, and let me just tell you...i'm now stuck in the middle of project number nine. yes. holyshitballs. no wonder my life is a disaster. hot mess! i'm tellin' ya'. and let's not forget all the other half-attempts i've made in my life that has fucking landed me somewhere between the towns of "shitville" and "fuck me hard"...and as fate would only have it...i'm stranded on a country road with a car that has an empty gas tank...and both my legs are probably broken too...(you know...as fate would only have it. or at least my fate in life).
and that leads me to my original point! i could've accomplished so much more by this point in my life! that has always been my goal! i've always been determined. i just can't finish what i start! and to think...if this all had just been discovered a long fucking time ago. and who do i have to thank for fucking me up?! i don't know. i'm not here to play the blame game...i'm just here to bitch.
