i'm getting fucking old and i'm not even happy about it.
apparently i have slept wrong on my arm/shoulder/back (somewhere in that general anatomy of my body). that was three or four days ago. in fact, i'm getting old to the point in which i don't even remember what morning i woke up and wanted to swallow a bottle of vicodin. that's sad. maybe it's the a.d.d. nonetheless, my dismay resides in the fact that five years ago...well hell...two years ago i could have awoke with this muscle pain, swallowed a couple of advil and a half a bottle of vodka, passed out and got up the next morning and not even remembered having any pain at all. now i just want to swallow a bottle of vicodin with a bottle of vodka and i'm convinced that still wouldn't cure me.
this means i'm getting old and i just have to throw out a big ole' WTF for that. and i'd like to believe that i'm in decent shape (besides all the toxins i put in my body on a regular basis). okay. admittedly, the most fit i've ever been was just about 9 months ago. do the math. yeah. getting old also entails not bouncing back into shape as quickly. i think i've always attempted to maintain a decent figure but i can't say that even in my 20s was i in as good of shape as i was nine fucking months ago. another WTF.
my point is, since i like to live in my diluted world and have convinced myself that i'm in good shape, it completely dumbfounds me that i still have yet to recover from this muscle ache that is more annoying than it is anything else. one of my running partners was all fiesty last night and in good nature gave me a little shove to my "bad" shoulder and i was like, gotdamnsonuvabitchwhore! everyone who knows me, knows that i'm not a fucking pussy...i think i have a very high pain tolerance level...especially when it comes to putting up with men. (haha. yes. i just HAD to throw that in there...hey when opportunity knocks). anyway. it's not as if i felt like i was just whacked over the head with a baseball bat but i was somewhat astounded that it hurt at all.
p.s. would i sound like a hypochondriac if i said that i think i have a pinched nerve?
honestly i just thought by this morning i'd wake up and be roaring to kick ass (i wasn't even concerned that i didn't go to bed until 4:30). oh and by this morning i mean noon. but gotdamn. my shoulder hurts more than it did yesterday! what-the-fuck!
normally i'd deal with the pain like a grown-ass man and just roll with the punches but today i'm feeling like a giant pussy and i'm tired. i'm also looking at the clock and thinking that running does not sound so good since i have to be at work in two and a half hours. and believe me there will be plenty of "rolling with the punches" there and running around like a crackwhore on drugs.
oh and p.s. i really just want to tell everyone to fuck off and lay in bed like the pathetic piece of shit i was last friday. i'm so sick of people! WITH the exception of a few and when i say few i mean VERY few. those of you whom i have relationships with and who do not live in this armpit of the universe are not generally assessed in this group of "everyone i fucking hate today".
"say what you want to say. say what you need to say..." ~ john mayer
i've been told i should write a blog. this is me writing a blog - mostly about nothing. well...at least nothing that's mind-blowing or life-changing. furthermore, there are no rules and no limitations to this blog. lawd only knows i've never been a rule follower! i suppose in some ways that this is my opportunity to just say what it is i want and need to say, and for those of you who know me best...i'm probably not going to apologize for it.
if you've ever just wanted to unload, vent, bitch, moan and whine about life and how much it sucks kaka, and not care to be judged while just putting your feelings out there...here's your chance. or perhaps you want to tell everyone what blows your hair back and what a great day it is to be alive...bring it on! (i haven't always been a pessimist)! wink-wink. nudge-nudge. so read on my fellow bloggers!
if you've ever just wanted to unload, vent, bitch, moan and whine about life and how much it sucks kaka, and not care to be judged while just putting your feelings out there...here's your chance. or perhaps you want to tell everyone what blows your hair back and what a great day it is to be alive...bring it on! (i haven't always been a pessimist)! wink-wink. nudge-nudge. so read on my fellow bloggers!
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