"say what you want to say. say what you need to say..." ~ john mayer

i've been told i should write a blog. this is me writing a blog - mostly about nothing. well...at least nothing that's mind-blowing or life-changing. furthermore, there are no rules and no limitations to this blog. lawd only knows i've never been a rule follower! i suppose in some ways that this is my opportunity to just say what it is i want and need to say, and for those of you who know me best...i'm probably not going to apologize for it.

if you've ever just wanted to unload, vent, bitch, moan and whine about life and how much it sucks kaka, and not care to be judged while just putting your feelings out there...here's your chance. or perhaps you want to tell everyone what blows your hair back and what a great day it is to be alive...bring it on! (i haven't always been a pessimist)! wink-wink. nudge-nudge. so read on my fellow bloggers!

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07 November 2010

Life Really Sucks My Balls

if only i had balls. lawd knows that everyone who knows me best knows that i've always had the penis envy. how great would it be to be a guy and have the ability to just whip it out and take a piss while stuck in the middle of nowhere? sure beats popping a squat and worrying about getting pee on your leg. men. can't live with them. can't live without them.

maybe if i had balls i'd be less inclined to want to kick a man in the nuts. or maybe i could just run around sticking my dick in everyone without remorse. or go around breaking girls' hearts because i'm a selfish fuck who lives only for myself. maybe if i were a man i'd be less insecure because i know that six-pack i just drank isn't going straight to my gut and that women will still overlook some minor shallow flaw while i remain a completely hollow, meaningless and petty human being because even the fat girl or ugly girl needs to get laid, and i can go around sticking my dick in the next idiot to fall for my trickery. maybe. or maybe i'd be that rare ten percent of the male population who is decent...not perfect just perfectly nice and kind, and not fucking selfish.

i think it'd be great if all men had to be a woman before becoming a man. maybe then they'd understand women better. i'm not saying i completely understand men but maybe if a man had to walk a mile in a woman's shoes, he'd be less predisposed to being a selfish fucker.

what really chaps my ass is the bullshit that women and yes, myself included have to put up with. so maybe men aren't as confident as i deem them to be but that doesn't mean a man should attempt to fulfill his shortcomings by being an asshole. i mean...i know i can be a fucking bitch but i still really try to fight fair. i could totally be henious and say horrible things...factual things out loud...i could make public announcements about these facts to the world. i could make a grown man cry and wish he was never fucking borne. but do i do that?! no. because i'm a relatively decent person. it's like, what's so great about you? you're not getting any younger and you're going bald. so fuck you. (not that i don't love a bald headed man because i do...there is just something about them. mmm...beautiful). anyway. i'm getting off track. my point is, men shouldn't try and satisfy their insecurities by making their partner as equally as insecure.

i hate how men think they are so fucking perfect and that they do nothing wrong. and just because i have a vagina doesn't mean i'm moody or have a personality disorder. fuck. men are as equally as moody and shitty as women are. takes one to know one! and even if i am moody or shitty it's probably because the man did something to piss me the fuck off. okay. i won't be a total hypocrite in my state of life sucking dick because i know i'm so far from perfect when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. i understand that i'm a whole lot of woman to deal with. nonetheless, i can admit when i'm wrong, and in spite of me being a bitch and being wrong sometimes doesn't mean that i haven't always been supportive of the other person even when shit is hitting the fan. is it really asking too much for someone to do the same for me? apparently. and i'm not some nazi-fem preaching equal rights and insisting that i can open the door myself. i'm NOT. all i'm asking is for equal support. how very demanding of me. geezusfuck. on top of it all, i can guarantee that the man did something completely asinine or behaved like a fucking asshole when they're receiving the silent treatment. just admit you're an asshole and life can go on, and i'll begin having conversations with you again. DUH.

damnit. life can be really shitty sometimes for all different sorts of shitty reasons but knowing that you have someone in your life that has your back (good, bad or ugly), makes all the difference. knowing that you have support can make life so much less bleak. when that doesn't happen it just fucking sucks dick. and then what? vodka i guess. my liver would love me a whole helluva lot more if there wasn't that massive pile of dog shit waiting for me when i turn the corner. and naturally, i'm wearing heels. FUCK ME HARD. life IS a bitch.

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