november. really?! REALLY?! damn. so apparently october flew by in a frenzy and besides myself seeming to not have time to do anything but bust my ass at work and get drunk (of course), i haven't had time to write or respond to the five zillion emails in my inbox. fuck. and now it's november. FUCK!
gotdamnsonuvabitchwhoremotherfucker. i am a horrible procrastinator and it seems to becoming progressively worse with age. perhaps my memory going to the shitter and the ADD distracting me from doing anything is also a contributing factor. or perhaps it's a really good excuse just to be a lazy fuck.
in the past month there were several times in which i wished i had had more time to sit down and bitch to anyone who is out there reading. but alas, instead of turning to my blog to express my bitchiness on "paper", i opted for repressing my feelings with the bottle. and, it came in three different forms...beer, vodka, wine. i think that's pretty much it - those tend to be my most reliable options when drowning my sorrows. once in a horrible blue moon i'll lean on my friend jack but that's a whole different kind of drunk that no one needs to see. anyway. after having successfully completed a half-marathon the first weekend of october and deciding on some downtime from running, among the four thousand "something's come up" excuses and complications, i really hadn't done any running at all. gawd. it is just too easy to drink my life away when i'm not conned into getting out of bed early on a saturday morning to go running.
so i drink. not because my life is so tragic and i hate mostly everyone but it's what i call "avoidance" which coincidentally goes hand-in-hand with "denial". i use to run away from my life's problems, now i just ignore all the shit that's constantly raining on my head and pretend that my life is normal. that whole "fight or flight" reaction has been stifled in me for a very long time...i do not care to go storming into the battle to face the reality, and i do not care to run like a crack whore in the other direction. i'm perfectly content in ignoring my shitty life and pretending that i'll wake up one day and it will all just have been a very bad dream. of course, alcohol comes in to play a very necessary role in my fairy la-la land.
p.s. just in case you're wondering - no. no intervention is needed. i've simply regressed to my twenties and i'll snap out of it pretty soon and resign myself to having to live in the real world.
and p.s. the real world sucks my dick!
if life were only as simple as being the stupid, slutty, sloppy, joke of a human being i saw on saturday night while grabbing some late night mexican food at a reliable joint guaranteeing there would be plenty of halloween clad party-goers to make fun of. (i love making fun of people and i secretly wish harm on others. teehee!). i was in a very subdued state when we trekked on down to "el rancho" to get our grub on, i was also probably the most clothed human being. fuck. it's cold out! put some clothes on you stupid, slutty college girls! or at least wear a jacket when you're prancing around outside. (it's sick to think about what women will do to gain a man's attention. BARF!). boobies ready to fall out of bustiers and asses sagging from shorts shorter than my underwear. vomit. i don't have a perfect body and even if i did, i'd cover that shit up. so i don't know whether to applaud the women who have the balls to put anything on and go out, or whether to take them aside and inform them that they have shitty friends because no one needs to see you prancing around in a fucking DIAPER. an adult diaper that appears to look like you actually took a shit in because it's sagging from your crotch and ass! WTF! to top it all off, the sloppy whore sat down next to me and then proceeded to eat a burrito like a sow. it was completely disgusting and horrendous and very unappetizing. some people should just not be allowed in public. PERIOD. and that's all i have to say about that.
well damn. time to get the show on the road and accomplish something today. fuck.
No comments:
Post a Comment