...i wish i had a river i could skate away on. i hate this time of year...mostly because of the holiday's. i can handle thanksgiving (mostly because the idea of shoving my face until i want to vomit is for some reason very appealing), but gawd i hate christmas...how i fucking hate christmas. always have. always will. i really wish i could make myself like it. i want to get into the spirit, and love to decorate, and sing fucking stupid songs and care about using cookie cutters that resemble trees and stars but i just can't do it. i heard this quote the other day on the radio and it went something like this, "i already know that nobody likes me...i don't understand why we have to have a whole season to remind me of the fact that nobody likes me." well ain't that the gotdamn truth.
why in the hell do we need a day on the calendar to be nice to people? seriously. i hate people. and just because it's christmas doesn't mean i'm going to pretend to like anyone. i'm an asshole all the time, and i don't need to get in the spirit to pretend otherwise. and, i hate how everyone presumes to think i hate christmas (or valentine's day for that matter), because i never had a boyfriend on either holiday because i have. and p.s. presents (even the most beautiful and expensive and desirous of presents), does not change the fact that i hate christmas and always will.
it's just all so laughable! and i want to mock those christmas sweater wearing people who tote their shopping bags around like they're high on peppermint. i'd like to take a candy cane, suck the end until it's super pointy and stab those reindeer sweater wearing people in the throat. better yet...i'd like to stab myself in my eye - both of my eyes! so i can be spared the pain of having to witness another season of cheer, and red and green all over. BARF. it's completely tortuous and i'd much rather go to sleep for the next month and a half until the "cheer" has passed. and let's be honest...most of the cheer that people tend to exhibit this time of year is completely false, and i think that makes me want to vomit even more. lots of vomit all over christmas sweaters! now that'd get me in the spirit! it's really a shame that i despise eggnog or i'd drink lots of that nasty ass shit to further my barfing cause.
seriously. it's all so insufferable. kill me now! but bring me some turkey, stuffing, smashers and gravy, and pumpkin cheesecake before you do. a side of vodka and wine would be good too. vodka first, then the wine. preferably grey goose (that shit is smooth), and a nice cabernet. hell. don't kill me. just feed me and give me booze, and i'm sure i'll get over hating the holiday's in no time.
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