you know...i'm just gonna bitch about whatever-the-fuck i want to because i can. and i can barely fucking walk. actually walking is the easy part. standing up is a real whore. i'm just extremely irritated and pissed off today so i feel like a good fucking tongue-lashing is needed.
i am so fucking sick of people. i fucking hate everyone. that will never change. and if i call you and i decide to hang up on you, don't give me fucking attitude. i called you. i'll hang up on you if i fucking want! yeah, it's rude. but i don't really give a flying fuck right now.
i hate how people presume that i'll just randomly wake up one day and totally lose any recollection of who they are. i know when you're being a fucking asshole. and i know when you're being weird. so if you're being weird and i say that you're being a fucking weirdo, THAN YOU ARE.
what?! i was in a relationship with a man for almost two years, i've known him for almost three and i don't know who he is anymore? maybe not. but i still know when he's being a fucking weirdo. and so if i called to talk to him and ask him a deeply personal question and he's behaving strangely than i'm probably going to be less inclined to want to talk to him. and yes. i'm going to fucking hang up on him because it's my fucking RIGHT. i called him. i'll fucking hang up when i want. at least i said good bye so he knew i was hanging up, and therefore, for all intents and purposes it wasn't just me hanging up on him. i said good bye. what kind of warning or necessary statement would be a better indication that i'm about to hang up?! geezus. FUCKINGGOTDAMNSONUVABITCHWHORE! people drive me fucking nuts!
FUCK EVERYONE.
oh and another thing! don't ask me to go out of my way for you and tell ME what is an appropriate tone of voice to take with you, if you don't know how to follow your own gotdamn fucking advice. you hypocrite. FUCK. okay. so i realize people don't necessarily ask me to go out of my way for them but as typically selfish as i am, i'm also a very giving and generous person to those people i care about. so if i bring you dinner (and by the way, remember the conversation we had about it beforehand and how you said that would be great if i did so), i don't care if you got in a shitty fucking mood between then and a fucking hour from then, eat the gotdamn dinner that i went out of my way to bring you. fucking groceries aren't free. and on top of it all, don't fucking lecture me and then throw my gotdamn dish in the back of the refrigerator. and NO. i don't think that's asking too fucking much!
and i don't care if you're fucking sick! that's not an excuse to act like an ungrateful asshole either. i was the one that got up in the middle of the gotdamn fucking night to run to the supermarket because you somehow "lost" your drugs between leaving for work and returning home. so don't fucking snap at me because i'm just trying to be helpful. drive your own grown-ass, sickly self to the supermarket at midnight next time and then tell someone who fucking cares.
i know you're fucking sick. and i'm sorry. it fucking sucks. but at least you have someone that cares about you enough that they're there for you, wiping your forehead, feeding you drugs and ensuring that you have everything you need, and NOT caring about your germ-infested, sweaty, stinky self. so the last thing you probably want to do is fucking bite that person's head off or even say something to them that comes across as slightly shitty.
oh! and another gotdamn thing. since we're being such good friends and what-the-fuck-ever...you care so much about me - VOMIT. you could at least attempt to show up and be on fucking time for ME. the one thing that meant something to me in all this turmoil and bullshit that i've faced this year, and you can't even fucking be on time?! guess what?! you missed it. oh right. you're sick. being sick forgives everything. FUCKING BLOW ME.
you're not even positive whether you're 100% on my side and i'm doing all of this for you and FOR WHAT?! i'm my own worst enemy and my harshest critic, so i certainly don't need reinforcement about my self-worth by being treated like a fucking gotdamn doormat. i may be a mashochist but i'm not a gotdamn fucking idiot. (at least i'm not MOST of the time).
oh and p.s. world! this is why i fucking drink.
it's a good gotdamn thing that so many people piss me the fuck off or i'd have nothing to bitch about.
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